http://www.worldwidewords.org/topicalwords/tw-dep1.htm

A very good observation on the inefficiencies of the UK IND.
http://www.sport.telegraph.co.uk/gardening/main.jhtml?xml=/gardening/2004/12/11/germ11.xml&sSheet=/gardening/2004/12/11/ixgmain.html

But one of the best kept and largely undocumented secrets in ASP.NET is the tilde character (~). The tilde is actually a shortcut notation for the HttpRuntime.AppDomainAppVirtualPath property, which, according to the .NET documentation, “returns the virtual path of the directory that contains the application hosted in the current application domain.” Another way to say it is that the ~ refers to the root of the virtual Web application, not the root of the Web server. The difference is subtle but crucial. It means that you can use a ~ to start the paths in your application and no matter where you move the application it will find the referenced files without problem.

Let me use this space to express my utmost disdain and contempt for that slag in the German Embassy who mischievously booked me for a late afternoon appointment last Monday.

You see, I was hoping to have some of my papers certified so that I can transfer my German pension payments. The kraut so graciously offered to help by booking me for a 4:30 appointment.

Imagine my disappointment when, after taking a half-day off, and sprinting from one tube station to another, I was told at the reception desk that the German offices close at 4:30 and that there is no way they could have arranged an appointment at that time.

Sheisse!

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom & gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, on the twins’ birthday their father loaded the pessimist’s room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist’s room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist’s room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

“Why are you crying?” the father asked.

“Because my friends will be jealous, I’ll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I’ll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken.” answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin’s room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. “What are you so happy about?” he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”